Category Archives: Faith

Why are Christians Even Bothering to Raise Kids?

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You’re throwing away your life for nothing, Christian!

A Sigma Game Substack post this week, entitled It’s Beyond Your Control, featured a comment that came so directly from the pits of Hell that I can still smell the sulfur. I don’t have anything to add or subtract regarding Vox’s commentary, as far as the SSH goes. How could I? It’s fairly complete, as far as I can tell, and I am not the person to ask about men. I have five sons, and Vox’s Socio-Sexual Hierarchy explains things so well that I’ve had much better success in understanding and rearing them than I otherwise would have, I’m sure.

But the comment from which he is quoting isn’t, strictly speaking, about the male social hierarchy, or the inborn traits that a young man has that determine his place within it, but with Christianity and rebellion. The commenter said this, and I believe (with far more evidence than he has given to back up his statements) that he’s just making stuff up:

In many spheres of my personal and public life within the last year, the incidents of Trad families with wayward-leaning children has grown to at least a dozen. It is my belief  (emphasis getalonghome’s) that the Traditionalist Christian society in America (not just Catholics) is experiencing a very big epidemic of kids who are disowning the faith of their parents–or even the parents, themselves.

This is such an enormous tragedy. You’ve climbed over mountains of pain and passed through crucibles of fire to find the peace of Jesus Christ. You only want to do the right thing. You end up marrying, and you have a good batch of children. You pour your heart into them. They are the very purpose of your existence–your reason for being. All of your happiness depends upon their success. You sacrifice and give up the things you loved doing. You do with less so that you can give them nourishment. You modify your behavior and become boring and wholesome for them. You probably even homeschool them, teach them, encourage them. They are in your thoughts most of the day. You pray for them, and you teach them to pray. You warn them about the evils of the world, how your little family is surrounded by orcs, goblins, and devils. You take them to church, drive them to church functions, keep a wholesome setting throughout their childhood.

And it all ends in crackhouses and prostitution for a huge number of these kids, apparently.

Bless your heart, poor Christian. “You’ve” climbed over all these mountains, suffered so much, given up your very identity for this! And you’re just going to lose it all and be miserable because your kids have disowned you! I think the psychologists call it “going no-contact”. If this is just a particularly tone-deaf fellow who knows some folks who lost their way, I may come off a bit harsh. But I think I’m dealing with an actual enemy here, and I will treat him as such until he proves otherwise.

That quote just reads like the Serpent, don’t it?

Now, I am a mother of a large number of children, only three of whom can be considered “grown”, and those just barely. I know many more families who have lived just as we have, and guess what? The kids are doing great! I also know some families who did all these things, and some things still went horribly wrong with a child. But mostly? No. Usually it’s one child out of many. As long as there is life, there’s hope, so those stories aren’t done. Our Lord doesn’t give up on people just because they get lost. He goes out to find them.

This comment about how you can’t trust that anything you’re doing is effective is not only “a little black-pilled”, as Vox called it. I am choosing to treat it as calculated–whether the writer is aware of his own motivations or not–to be intentionally discouraging to Christians and homeschoolers.

Don’t waste your time, families. They’re just going to lose their minds when they get out from under your thumb anyway!

This is almost verbatim what a man who professes Christ said to me during a discussion about raising children recently. So this nonsense doesn’t just come from strangers on the internet. It is widespread and obnoxious as all get-out. I really appreciate the comment at Sigma Game giving me a chance to address my brother at church who spoke with the same shocking ignorance. I needed the intro.

Let me just take some of these idiotic sentences one at a time.

He: You’ve climbed over mountains of pain and passed through crucibles of fire to find the peace of Jesus Christ. 

I: I assure you, I have not. Jesus Christ climbed over all of my mountains of pain and passed through all of my crucibles of fire so that I could live victorious in Him. He gave me my peace, free of charge. Entire books have, of course, been written on Christian suffering. I’ve suffered some, and been joyful right on through it, with the Lord’s occasional chastisement for my attitude. I’ll gladly join in His suffering in any way He wills!

But something tells me that my definition of pain and fire are different than this guy’s. He doesn’t know there’s joy in it.

He: You only want to do the right thing.

I: OK, that’s fair enough. Is there anybody who doesn’t want to do “the right thing”, insofar as they can figure out what that is? Poor, hapless Christians, trying to do the right thing all the time, to no good effect.

He: They are the very purpose of your existence–your reason for being. All of your happiness depends upon their success.

I: Oh, my word, do you even know any Christians? Christ is the purpose of my existence. My children are lovely, but if, Job-like, they all were erased from this earth or my life in the blink of an eye, I would still have my reason for being.

For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. –Job 19:25

If I live my faith out in front of my children daily, they will grow to understand that He is the reason for ALL existence!  My happiness, for some definitions of the word, will certainly take a hit if any of them decide to leave the faith of our Fathers, but my joy is indestructible!

I’m not here to become happy. I’m here to become holy.

He: You do with less so that you can give them nourishment. 

I: Absolutely. You get me. I feed them a lot of meat, and it ain’t cheap. (Shameless beg here: I do do without some things for the sake of my children. Not much, and I wouldn’t trade them for any comforts imaginable. My needs are fully covered. But I have to make choices, just like anybody with limited income. Chip in to support my hobbies, if you like! I’ll put my current fundraiser at the end of this post. Enough about money, though. Back to the conversation.)

He: You modify your behavior and become boring and wholesome for them.

I: Not only do you not know many Christians very well, I just found what looks like very good evidence that you are not one yourself, and thus have no credibility at all. I did not modify my behavior for my children. I didn’t modify my behavior at all. I put on a new Man. Christ changed my heart! I know that’s hard to believe. Unbelievers mostly think Christians have always just been what they are, with a few behavior changes to make things look better on the outside. It’s just a decision we make, in your mind. I get that. You have to experience it to really believe it. But if you could talk to people who knew me before, you’d know something really happened there!

I was not just a little bit of a loser who needed some work, ok? I was L. O. S. T.

I couldn’t have changed myself. Neither can you. Repent.

Also, what unwholesome things do you think would be making our lives so much more interesting that we should regret giving our children such a pleasant, safe, loving environment, even if they should come to reject our faith themselves? I’m not going back to any of the stuff Jesus took from me. That is independent of any concern for any other person, including my beloved children. I’d have never been able to do this just for them.

Jesus did this.

It’s a real change of heart that Christians experience. I prayed this evening for you to have that same transformation. I wonder how much of this even came from your own head, Commenter. I have to suspect AI of writing a lot of this at this point, it’s so void of understanding.

No, we are not “boring”. We’re having more fun than anybody I know! My husband and I laugh more and experience more excitement on a daily basis than we ever did before we had children. People around us quite enjoy our family, as well. These people are wonderful.

What is wrong with you? 

We are wholesome, though. I’ll give you 10% credit for using one correct word, but the rest of the statement is so dumb I can’t give you more.

He: You probably even homeschool them, teach them, encourage them. They are in your thoughts most of the day. You pray for them, and you teach them to pray.

I: Oh, wow, you got through three whole sentences without lying! That had to be strenuous. Better throw down a pint of something strong to quench the thirst you built up before moving on to the next lie.

He: You warn them about the evils of the world, how your little family is surrounded by orcs, goblins, and devils. 

I: Well, you flubbed it, buddy, just as the prophets (I) foretold. Yes, we warn them of sin, and of the Devil’s tricks, many of which you are engaging in here.

We also teach our children, as all Christians do, that Man is fallen and in need of a Savior; that no one is righteous, not one of us. We show our Savior, our Mighty Hope, to our children. We teach them compassion for others who need Him as much as we do. It’s Good News we bear, not fear.

The world certainly has evils. You probably don’t really believe that yourself, considering your language here. Orcs and goblins are imaginary, and I assume you think devils are, too, since you lumped them together. They’re real, but Christ has overcome all of them. We have nothing to fear.

We are storming Hell’s gates, not cowering in fear as Hell surrounds us.  

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. –Ephesians 6:4

Also, our family is not “little”. There are 10 of us in the GAH household, 11 if you count the new kid, but there are also millions, even billions, of believers in our extended family. Not small at all.

You tell me, Reader: Does this guy demonstrate a familiarity with real Christians and especially those who homeschool, their motives and outcomes? Does he offer any evidence that there is an actual epidemic of losing our children, rather than his fevered imagination? Does he offer any kind of solution or point out a reason this might be happening? No, and because Vox was focused on the minor point, which was accurate, he let this fellow off the hook over a major problem that I couldn’t ignore: he doesn’t understand the first thing about why Christians do anything. He just wants to take shots at what he doesn’t understand, and probably in fact hates.

This comment was not ultimately about any inborn or socialized male traits, or what parents can do about them, which is very little indeed, but about whether our Savior can be trusted to bring our children safely home. 

He says no. You’re all just spitting into the wind, Christians.

I say yes. Our way of raising children is the correct one, regardless of how they “turn out”. But they will stand, because the Lord is able to make them stand.

I will split this response into more than one post for the sake of readability and shareability, but I will return with much more on the topic. It’s one of my favorites, after all. Suffice it for now to say:

Yes! My children’s outcomes are beyond my control. Praise the Lord!

Please share this post any way you like! By social media, by phone, by Pony Express, whatever! I don’t have social media anymore, so I’m counting on subscribing friends to pass the posts around.  Come back and see me soon! 

Should Pastors Preach About the Kirk Assassination?

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I know I said I was bored with the subject, and wasn’t going to say anything else, but I just turned another rock over, and there are bunch of interesting little grubs under it.

I was just listening to a podcast where the discussion was about whether pastors who neglected to preach on Charlie Kirk’s assassination were derelict in their duties to their congregations. Mark Driscoll went so far as to say people should leave all such churches. Oddly, he didn’t say anything about staying with your church and finding a new pastor. It’s almost as if he, a pastor, were loathe to let anybody think that could be an option.

Now, I am not a pastor, and I will not tell anyone what I think their pastor should be doing. I believe local flocks have local needs, and the Holy Spirit can mind His people best through locally-minded shepherds. But I am a Sunday School teacher, a member of a church, a regular old run-of-the-mill Christian, and a congenital contrarian, so I’ll speak from that position.

The Sunday after Kirk’s death, many of the pastors and teachers I know spoke about the situation. Many others did not, or if they did, they only mentioned it in passing, and prayed for his family. I listened to my father’s sermon online, and he went on with the message he already had on his heart, with a passing mention for Kirk. I was sick last week, so I did not get a chance to teach my class that Sunday. If I had, I had no intention of talking about Charlie Kirk. We’re going through the book of Proverbs right now. We would have certainly prayed for his family and for God’s will to be done going forward.

I believe it is my role as a facilitator to give my younger brothers and sisters the tools required to rightly divide the Word of Truth. They can apply that understanding to political or current events on their own. I was, perhaps to my shame, massively relieved to find that I had a nasty head-cold so that I didn’t have to hear about Charlie Kirk during church that day. I simply cannot handle the push–the lockstep messaging that gets handed down through media, that everybody repeats as if it were their own. I feel the same on patriotic holidays, after massive news stories, and on Cinco de Mayo. Believe me, I am as uncomfortable with myself and my own tribe of cranks as I am with the mainstream.

I’m an equal-opportunity doubter.

Another Sunday School teacher had asked if it would be OK to speak to my children about the assassination, and I would have been fine with it if we’d been there. I trust her intentions and sense. I also believe I’ve given my children the aforementioned tools for discernment that I try to impart to my own class. And they are genetically mine, so not likely to be terribly manipulable. Whatever is spoken about politics or current events in the Sunday School room will be something they can parse quite well. I hope all of the students are so adept at weeding out the politics from the reality. I also think that the other Sunday School teacher could be more right than I am, or could have a good word for the children, who know about it already and need to process it somehow, so it really isn’t a problem for me if other teachers feel differently than I do. The Holy Spirit is ultimately in charge of all of us, and I trust that He’ll bring us all home in His own way and time.

I’m looking at this on two levels at once, but one of them has to supersede the other.

As I said before, I believe, and evidence is plentiful, that Kirk was killed because he had been a useful political tool, but was slowly waking up to the fact that he was controlled by people who do not serve Christ. As a Christian, he was beginning to catch on that he was trying to serve two masters. He was becoming uncontrollable, and he had to be taken out. In that way, in my mind, he has become a legitimate martyr for the Savior. I honor him as such.

But the public and shocking way that he was killed–and I am not immune to feeling very strong emotions about it, even when they are not the precise emotions that I’m expected to have–tells me that though he is a martyr, his death was fully intended by the Enemy to be used to move Christians in a particular direction. They have no problem taking difficult people out by pillow or car accident when they don’t want it talked about, but they chose to do this in a spectacular way, even possibly enhancing the images with AI to really stun a public that watches too many horror movies to be impressed with a normal amount of blood.

My sadness is for the life lost. But my anger is due to that feeling I’m getting, once again, that someone is attempting to manipulate me.

Here comes the Push.

Not twenty-four hours after his death, I started to get messages from other teachers and mothers and friends about how they’re doing this or that thing to further Charlie’s message. I saw everybody on the political “right” jumping in, gleeful at the potential for grift, to pick up his “bloody” microphone–people who cannot possibly understand his faith, but would love to ride on his political coattails for as long as they can be ridden.

I just don’t like it. It’s a gut thing. As my mom said the other day, with some frustration, “Oh, you never like anything.” It’s true. I’ve lamented in these pages before how wearying it is to never find myself on the comfortably correct page. But here we are again. Because, while on one level Charlie Kirk did indeed take that blow for Christ, on another, we all stand to be manipulated and used by the narrative that is even now being written about it. And that narrative is being written–in fact has already been written, and is now being read to us–by enemies of Christ.

They are whipping us into a hysteria.

As with covid and any other happenings that the media gets into a frenzy about, Christians need to be wary. We left a church because they refused to see the evil behind the masking and separation and the jabs. (That post is worth a read if you have a little extra time, especially if you are a pastor or deacon.) I was proud of those Christians I knew who were able to see through the lies, whether instantly or eventually, and I expect those same brothers and sisters will manage to both calm themselves and those under their influence so that they won’t be manipulated further.

Charlie Kirk believed in Christ. But his platform was a political one, and was so mixed up with the politics of other people who do not believe in Christ, and in fact actively despise Christ, that we should not join any movement, take any stance, give any money, or do any deed which is pressed upon us as “for Charlie”. We cannot allow our love for a brother to override our skepticism of the political ends to which we are surely being brought. I do not profess to know what these ends are–not in the shorter term, at least–but it is glaringly obvious that there are some. As with covid, any pastor or teacher that makes a big deal of this inside church walls, devoting unnecessary attention or emotion to it, could be (unwittingly, I hope) adding the authority of his position to designs of Christ’s enemies. Again, there may be a pressing need within some congregations to have it addressed in some way, and I’m not saying every pastor or teacher is doing this. But teachers should tremble to think how they might get this wrong.

It has always been my nature to stay on the edge of the herd, even the finest herd, so that when the stampedes start, I can step off and figure out what to do. This has the characteristics of another stampede, much like the Great Toilet Paper Run of 2020, and I want nothing to do with it.

Since Charlie’s death is so fresh, and so much is coming to light about the reasons for it, I think Christians should allow time to gain better perspective on it, rather than rushing out to declare ourselves part of some “movement”.

Please leave a comment with your thoughts! Buy me a coffee if you find the blog helpful. Or if you don’t like it, encourage me to run more and blog less by giving to my gofundme for my next race!

How to Make the Most of Your Character Training Curriculum

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I went looking for some old posts on GAH 1.0, using the Wayback Machine. The archive did not, sadly, have the information I sought, but I enjoyed this old post so much I thought I’d repost it. I used to do homeschool product reviews, even though what I really want to do is write the truth. Some hapless soul sent me a character training curriculum to review. I did not review it, nor do I recall which product it was that inspired this wrath, but it seems to have involved stickers and rewards for “righteousness”. Here it is, for your edification and amusement:

How to Make the Most of Your Character Training Curriculum

by Cindy on September 1, 2015

Honesty. Integrity. Kindness. Generosity. Humility. Strength. Charity.

Look at all those pretty rows of tangible returns, gained through your loving and diligent teaching of “the Way” to your children. You’ve seen so much improvement in your child’s behavior over the months since you started training your child in Holiness. Where he had once stomped away in irritation from his crying little brother, he now stoops, with a glance over his shoulder to see if his ever-watchful Angel Mother is witness to his deed, to help Brother from his fallen condition. Where he used to grab greedily for the biggest piece of garlic bread, he now shifts his gaze, first to your hopeful face, and then to the smaller portion, leaving the larger for someone else.

It’s thrilling to see this child doing so much good! What can it be but the repentance that you’ve tried to teach him? Well, the chart is certainly helping, isn’t it? Now he knows he can do good, and you have bright, attractive displays to really remind him every day how good he can be, if only he will be mindful.

But don’t relax just yet, Mom. I’m impressed with your results, truly, and sometimes my children’s behavior is certainly more embarrassing to my carnal self than that which yours is displaying, if only by dint of our having no record to prove to you all the times that my child didn’t smack his brother in the head over a stolen five-cent piece of plastic named Lego.

You’re making me look bad, Lady.

In spite of all these results, though, there’s another step to all this character training. As far as I’ve perused these systems (which is to say, only far enough to sniff out the flaw in them), I’ve found them all lacking in one vital step which must not be skipped if you really want your child to learn to please God, rather than Mom, who is, after all, just Man with an apron and cookies.

If you do it this way, it might just work:

The next time you find your child in, not just childish rowdiness or disorder, but blatant sin, take that beautiful chart off the wall (or whatever record you had been keeping of all his good works). Don’t just take it down, mildly. Rip it down, angrily. It helps if you are a good actor, because it is unlikely that you, a sinner yourself, are going to be anywhere near as angry about your beloved child’s sin as Almighty God is about even the smallest perversion of his Goodness. Be wrathful, OK? It’s accurate.

Now, go outside. I hope it has been raining, because you’re going to need mud, the thicker the better. Lay…no, slam that poster down into the muck and mire. Jump on it with both feet (helpfully shod in your own nicest, holiest shoes) and really grind it in deep.

Now pick it up. Show your child what his works have accomplished.  “This, son, is all your righteousness. This is your record of good deeds and attitudes. This is every good behavior at which I’ve caught you in the course of training you how to display character. You’ve spoiled it. Go clean it up and put it back on the wall in the same condition it was before you sinned. Go ahead!”

But that is impossible. So when he cries with the shame of what he’s done (or maybe with his unrepentant anger at you for ruining all his visible virtue), you can then give him the Gospel you should have been giving him all along. “Son, the wrath of God is on all of us, the same way I vented my wrath on your ridiculous works-chart. But he sent his own Son to take all of that punishment I just dealt out to you. He died so that your chart might hang on the walls of Heaven, not marked out in individual good works or intermittently cheerful attitudes, but in the Blood of the Lamb, which covers every stain.

My child, I’m sorry I taught you to tote up your good deeds, rather than storing up your treasures in Heaven, to be cast down at the feet of the only One who is worthy of praise. Forgive me. And seek Christ’s forgiveness with me. This chart can’t save you. It can’t even help you look saved for any length of time, for “God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” All this chart can do is make you feel like you’ve made gains against your own sin, and that is a lie. You can’t do that. I’m sorry I lied to you.”

Now, does this all seem too cruel to you, dear Reader? Too nitpicky and overly spiritual? After all, we’re just trying to avoid misbehavior and get better kids for our efforts! We’re not claiming that this will save them. Are we?

But children are very easily misled, just as we are.

And the disciples came to the other side of the sea, but they had forgotten to bring any bread. And Jesus said to them, “Watch out and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”

–Matthew 16:6

It only takes a little yeast to leaven that little lump. I’m not being cruel or poking needless fun at your charts. What I just suggested you do with that record of your child’s visible “holiness” is nothing compared to what I’d have written if I’d really dug in and fully reflected Scripture.

“We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. –Isaiah 64:6”

Polluted? Those are our righteous deeds!

Do you know what that “polluted garment” refers to? It is not just a skirt with some mud on it, mamas. The prophet here (I am informed by one who has a lot more book-learning than I do) refers, quite shockingly, to used menstrual cloths. Based on this, I had considered a much more dramatic and bloody suggestion for what you can do with your child’s proudly-tallied righteousness.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?

“Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.”

“It is written, none is righteous, no, not one.”

“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.”

“When they come from the marketplace they do not eat unless they wash. And they observe many other traditions, such as the washing of cups, pitchers and kettles.”

How much of the Bible do I need to quote to convince you, Dear Reader, that character training is not just a potentially useful tool, or a help, or at the worst, a waste of time and resources, but an actual hindrance to the Gospel? Moms, stop pointing your child to these inadequate, self-righteous, works-driven “clean” spots on the outside of their cups. Give your children only the Living Water that can clean the inside and fill it so that it overflows and then washes the outside.

If, after this, you still think that “training in righteousness” by rewards and stickers is useful, or at least no harm, then tell me why. Not by your own result–that adorable, chubby-cheeked, compliant little cup of wrath you’ve been raising–nor by quoting the sellers and users of said devices, but by scripture itself, tell me what basis you have for teaching your child this way of becoming “holy“.

I’ll wait here, but not with bated breath, because you don’t have anything like that, and I don’t like what happens after I’ve held my breath for too long.

It’s a Trap!

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The Great Accuser is up to his games again.

Sometimes people share things on Facebook, and then I have a little rant in response, which few people see and even fewer care about. TL-DR, you know? But then I remember that I have a blog where I can put these things. Nobody much sees it or cares about it here, either, but it lives longer. Here’s a copy pasta from this morning’s rant, edited for blogworthiness:

Somebody on Facebook shared this quote today, and it is one I have ALWAYS HATED:

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, and walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

Now, how could anybody hate such humbling, well-stated, Christian-sounding words? Don’t they just inspire you to live better? It sounds good at first, doesn’t it? Why, it’s even at the beginning of one of my favorite DC Talk songs! But then you think about it for a minute.

I’m not living for Jesus so that people can see me and think I’m a Real Christian.

I’m not living for Jesus because there is a single thing I can do for Him.

I don’t live for Him to convince others of His Lordship, though I hope I do.

I’m living for Jesus because He’s the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

That’s it. That’s my whole reason for bowing the knee to Him. He is everything, and I owe Him everything.

I hate gaslighting. I have never been subject to it, and people who use that tactic to control others hate me. It just doesn’t work. The downside to that is that I’m often a little too sure of myself. But a lot of other people don’t have that quality/failing, and I find they need to be rescued from Satan’s gaslighting from time to time.

Anytime somebody tries to put the blame for other people’s beliefs and actions on you, Christian, you are being lied to. They are lying because they don’t want to hear it. I’ve found over the years, that no matter what my message, only those who have ears to hear will hear it. Everybody else will have an argument, an excuse, and finally an accusation, to deflect the message. That goes for the Gospel, the Meat Life, Homeschooling, and everything else I’ve latched onto that I’ve tried to share with others, both on this blog and in real life. They will either hear it, or they won’t. The onus is not on me.

Anyone who denies Christ does so because he doesn’t want Christ to be Lord in his life. It is not because you are not a good enough Christian. There is no deed good enough that they will change their minds about you, and no sin you can commit that can make you blameworthy for their unbelief. Your human failings will not serve as an excuse when atheists have to stand before the throne of God and try to explain to Him why they rejected His perfect Son.

“The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

Their unbelief is on them, Christian. Not on you.

The first quote is from the Great Accuser, who would like to remind you of every sin that Christ has already put under the Blood. He wants you constantly worried about what the World thinks of you. It hampers your prayers with doubt to be constantly trying to measure up in the eyes of a never-satisfied world.

The second quote is from God’s Word.

God has made it plain to them. He is satisfied with you, Christian, because of what His Son did. Live victoriously, not in cowering fear that someone might find out you’re not perfect.

Speaking of Oil

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Seed oils, even.

As many of you know, my husband is afflicted with chronic pain, both head and neck, and is frequently confined to bed. It’s been more than 15 years now, and we are accustomed to running our family much as if dad were in the military or traveling for work a lot. He’s here, but…well, he’s not here. Whether it’s illness, or travel, or long hours at work, many young mothers find themselves both alone and lonely in their role. Motherhood, even with the best of husbands, is still a very solitary job. Even with help from husbands, friends, and older children, nobody else is Mommy. This life makes for hard days and long nights, and we do have to go through these things alone sometimes.

When my fifth child was about 11 months old, Get Along Husband had been having the headaches for a few years. I had become used to him coming home from work, going to bed, and having at most only one good day every week or so, but I had not found peace with that routine yet. I was usually able to contain my tears, never having been much of a crier, but one night, after a particularly busy and eventful day, I found myself crying into my dishwater over it all. I was so tired, and the kids still needed to be put to bed, and I was late getting them fed.

“Lord, I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m so alone.”

Just that minute, I heard a little bitty splat behind me. I turned around to see through my tears that my little guy had crawled into the kitchen and stealthily loosened the lid on a gallon of vegetable oil. I had put it down on the floor when I’d brought in groceries earlier, and my baby was now slipping and sliding and slapping in a gallon of soybean oil, quite happily!

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Or this child’s timing.

Then that still, small voice came through. “Are you sure you can’t handle this any more, Cindy?”

Oh, Lord Jesus, why?

Still boohooing, I scooped that baby up, warned the rest of the children to stay out of the kitchen, and took him for a bath. Then I put all of the children in front of a video and somehow cleaned that whole gallon of oil off the floor. By the time I was done, of course, I was no longer crying. You really can only cry so much, even when you’re as tired and lonely as I was that night. But as I sopped, then squeegeed, and then soaped that floor, I had a talk with Jesus. It was not the task of a few minutes, so it was a very long talk.

I do sincerely believe that God Himself put that baby and that oil in the floor that night to show me just what I can take. I’ve never wondered since that episode whether I could handle the hardships of mothering alone. As I said in my last post, all I had to do was pour. That day, I poured my little pot of oil into my family by keeping my temper and just doing what had to be done. God just kept filling up my reserves until the job was done.

When I woke up the next morning, my self-control was restored, and my floor was clean, and my children were just fine. Jesus did that. I cannot take any credit at all! I was so tired. I did not have the wherewithal to handle myself in that moment. But He did.

I was never alone. 

If you’ve never been a young mother with lives dependent on your very body for sustenance, it may sound like I was crying about absolutely nothing that day. But you who are mothers, you know. I still tear up every time I think about it. I’m crying as I write. It was such a hard day, after so many other hard days just like it.

Thank God, I’ve never felt since that day that I could not do it anymore. The days didn’t get any easier for a very long time. But God showed me how to pour myself out that day. It wasn’t long after that that our family was in a car crash, and we nearly lost my husband. What I learned that day with the baby and the oil carried me through that emergency, as well as many more that have followed in the 11 years since.

If there’s one thing I want you young mothers to know from this story, it is that you are not alone. You are doing it humanly alone sometimes. There’s no getting around that. But God is truly, literally, powerfully working through you. Don’t despair the way I did that night. Don’t give up on your husband, or your kids, or your Savior, or yourself. Don’t be bitter about whatever circumstance has you so lonely and so tired. Even if you’ve been wronged somehow, and that’s why you’re so alone and tired, don’t let it make you bitter. Know that you are being refined and made into the kind of Mother that gets written into hymns. You are doing important work.

Just keep pouring.

It’s a Fallen World

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It’s not as fallen as you think it is.

Christians who read this blog may be familiar with the song “Is He Worthy?” If not, here you go.

Now, I happen to love that song. He is worthy, and the song is altogether worshipful and right. But that first line: “Do you feel the world is broken?” gets on my ever-loving nerves. Well, of course it is! But among Christians, it is too often our tendency to look around at the broken things, throw up our hands in despair and say “Come quickly, Lord Jesus!”

Yes, the world is broken. Some things are going horribly wrong. I’m not even talking about politics, as I’m sure you thought I would be. I’m talking, as is my wont, of our health. Nearly everybody I know is sick. They have cancers, heart disease, degenerative diseases, autoimmunity, mental illness. The list of troubles I see in the people around me is so long that I can’t possibly cover it all. The older they are, the more of them there are. But I don’t believe age is the problem. I believe the length of time they’ve spent living modern lifestyles is the problem.

There was a time, probably somewhere within the pages of this very blog, when I would have said “Oh, well, it’s a fallen world, after all!” about my own illnesses. I’d have sighed a bit, lamented my aches and pains, and accepted the doctor’s many prescriptions, thinking that this is just my genetics, just a fact of getting older, just the effect of the curse.

And all of this stuff does happen because there is a curse on all creation. It’s true. Creation is still groaning. Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

But what if I told you that much of the trouble we experience that we think is inevitable, is actually avoidable and fixable? We’ve accepted a lot of unnecessary sicknesses, blaming perfectly preventable illnesses on bad genes, aging, or just bad luck. We’ve paid out a fortune for drugs that don’t make us well. I watched my grandmother die of medical treatment. She could have had a wonderful last two decades, and instead she was poked, prodded, medicated, and financially sucked dry as she became more and more miserable. And finally she died, with very little comfort or dignity.

Most of us have no idea how much of our sickness, our fatness, and our sadness, is due, not to the general fallenness of Man, which will cause us all to degenerate and die eventually, but to specific fallen behaviors, like the greed of agriculture, medicine, pharma, and government entities. I could write books, and have read several, about what they have done to our food supply, our environment, and our bodies.

But it’s not their choices that are killing us so miserably. It is our trust in “science”, our fatalistic attitude about getting fat and sick, and our love of comfort that keeps us from making the changes that could result in our living longer, healthier, stronger, more prosperous lives. We lean on medicine to make sure we don’t have “too many” children, ruining our hormonal health and our relationships. We vaccinate our children’s immune systems into oblivion because we don’t want to have to risk chicken pox.

We eat sugary, seed oil infused slop, day in and day out, just because it’s easy to get and cheap to buy, and lights up our brains like drugs. We relax in our recliners or beds or hammocks after meals instead of taking a walk or gardening or running or lifting some heavy weights. Our entertainment is soul-destroying, but we’re not willing to read difficult or inspiring books. Too hard on our sluggish, sugar-addled brains. I just drove by a group of men in full-body protective gear who were spraying toxic chemicals all over rows of small Christmas trees, destroying everything that lives in that field. We’re killing ourselves and our land so we can have nice looking trees in our living rooms in December. This is a choice we’re making.

We go for the easy route in every aspect of life. We atrophy. We degenerate. Our very cells no longer function the way they should because we have chosen ease and entertainment every day, all day, for our entire lives.

I’m not perfect. My kids are watching Pokemon right this minute. They get a little bit of screen time nearly every day. I will probably feel really convicted about that and put a stop to it now. We do all have to take ourselves off the hook from time to time. Rest is essential. But we have made a national identity of finding the easiest, most enjoyable route to absolutely everything. We have destroyed our health, both physical and mental, by coddling ourselves. And I hear people call this easy way of life “blessed”. They think they’re prospering while billions of their dollars are going into a kind of health care system that doesn’t even need to exist; while they endure horrible pains and discomforts from their lifestyle-induced diseases; while their relationships go under because of the depression and addictions.

Next time you have yet another ache or pain, or another miserable visit to the doctor, or another side effect from the pills you’re taking to try to counteract the damage you are doing to your body, don’t look at Big Pharma. They didn’t make you take that pill that doesn’t even work. Don’t look at Big Food. They didn’t force you to eat that Hot Pocket. Don’t look at the government and say “Save me from the consequences of my choices!”

Don’t look at Satan and Adam and Eve and blame the curse.

Look at yourself. You have made choices.

Look to Jesus, who died so that you don’t have to live defeated. Pray to be released from your addiction to foods, comfort, and self-indulgence. Put down the doughnut, turn off the teevee, and go do something to improve the wonderful physiology that God gave you. Go make your environment better. Make your food nourishing, instead of entertaining. Talk to your neighbor and get some real relationships going instead of playing around on Twitter. Take baby steps. I know it’s hard! But you can change things.

We are all going to die. It’s a fact. But we do not have to die like this.

Stone to Flesh

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These verses keep meeting in my mind.

Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance, and begin not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, That God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. –Luke 3:8

and

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. –Ezekiel 36:26

Isn’t it amazing how God takes our hearts of stone and makes children for Abraham of them?

And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. –Genesis 28:14

and

Now to Abraham and his seed were the promises made. He saith not, And to seeds, as of many; but as of one, And to thy seed, which is Christ. –Galatians 3:16

Be careful, my friends, of fleshly reasoning. Genealogies mean nothing. The work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts is the only thing that saves.

 

A Palm Sunday Thought

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I was teaching Sunday school this morning. I hadn’t prepared a lesson, but it’s Palm Sunday, so we went first to Mark ch. 10, and then to Psalm 118, which is the scripture the people were singing from as their King entered Jerusalem.
This is also the Psalm that names Him as “the stone that the builders rejected” that “has become the head of the corner”. The very next verse after “blessed is He who comes” says:
” The Lord is God,
and he has made his light to shine upon us.
Bind the festal sacrifice with cords,
up to the horns of the altar!”
All of those people, under the power of the Holy Spirit, were singing of the sacrifice coming to be killed for their sins. I doubt a single one of them had any inkling that He was the sacrifice. They were just singing the song of their Conquering King. Since it was the Passover, they would have expected Him to perhaps preside over the sacrifices, not be the sacrifice.
The chief priests must have been shaking in their boots.
The King was coming.

Meat is Not Jesus

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It won’t save you.

I spend a lot of time touting the benefits of a meat-heavy diet. I really, really believe in the carnivore and keto way of life! I believe in it so much that I’m spending what little free time I have coaching others on how to change their own dietary habits. While I try to respect other people’s food choices, I’m not at all shy about sharing information with people who appear to be open to it. You might even say I’m a carnivore evangelist. Being a preacher’s daughter, I guess that’s a role I can feel comfortable with.

I haven’t been coaching people on diet for very long at all, but I have spent some time informally helping people in my real life and online figure out how to get to a healthier place with their food. A friend of mine wanted to try carnivore, and I was curious as to what specific issues he was dealing with.

“What do you hope to get out of a carnivore diet?”

“I just want to be happy and well-adjusted like the Petersons.”

Oh, dear. Oh, dearie me.

I often hear names like Jordan B. Peterson and Joe Rogan brought up by carnivores– usually secular ones–as the luminaries who brought them to the Meat Side. Now, I don’t care how a person finds out about carnivore. It’s the best thing to do, no matter why you’re doing it. But I do worry that people who listen to these sources are not just expecting health, but an entire shift in their spiritual condition, just by eating meat. After all, would they even be listening to JBP if they had any discernment at all?

There is a great deal of mental help in carnivore! Let there be no doubt about that. I honestly doubt that Jordan Peterson has adhered very strictly to the diet at all, but perhaps he has. He’s still a basket-case. No well-adjusted man cries as freely as he does. And his daughter has certainly healed her auto-immune disease and her mental state, as well, by eating beef, and only beef. She’s doing very well, but she’s still a hot mess in some other ways, to put it in as non-gossipy a way as possible. Joe Rogan has toyed with the diet and interviewed some carnivore guests, and I’m told he attests to the value of the diet even though he’s not a strict adherent. But he’s literally consorting with demons, OK?

I have myself resolved all sorts of internal angst, the kind that is physically triggered by food, through first keto, then carnivore eating. I highly recommend Dr. Chris Palmer’s book Brain Energy, which gives as good an explana­tion as I’ve seen for why so many who suffer from mental illness find relief with a ketogenic diet. I think there’s probably more to be said about the gut micro-biome, gut permeability, and the vagus nerve, which communicates between the gut and the brain. Brain Energy is nevertheless a ground-breaking book. It focuses more on the ketones than a lot of other things that I think are going on, but explains a great deal. Whatever the reason, keto works. Carnivore works.

I want to say this loud and clear, lest I be found wanting on Judgment Day for failing to give the real credit where it is due:

If you cure all of your irrational fears, all of your anxieties, all of your mental and social dysfunctions, but you still don’t have Jesus, you still have nothing. You might even act like a nicer person, mistreat others less often, or harm yourself less often, but you’re still in your sin.

Conversely, when I had OCD, social phobia, depression, and general anxiety, but I had Jesus, I had everything already.

Now, I know what a skeptic would say here: If Jesus was so great for you, why did it take a dietary change to fix all these things?

If I ascend up into the heavens, you are there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, you are there psalm 139: 8

I don’t know the mind of God, of course, but His word gives me a clue. He let me make my bed in Hell so that he could  show His power to come to me there. Through my weakness I can say right along with the Apostle Paul that:

…there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

–2 Corinthians 12:-8

You can read my testimony here, if you care for more background.

While I was having a difficult time with some aspects of life, I was learning to lean on Jesus. I asked for healing, but to no avail. Or so I thought. Looking back, I can see that what looked like a dark, gloomy pit was really a quiet nest in which a baby Christian could develop, sheltered from many of the assaults of the world which I likely would not have been proof against, had I found out about the carnivore diet while I was still spiritually weak.

To an unbeliever, this must certainly sound foolish, but I wouldn’t trade my years of mental difficulty for all the meat-induced calm in the world, because Jesus shone into my darkness in a way that I think few have experienced.  Could God have made me all better all at once? Sure! But I needed to be where I was.

For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

–Hebrews 12:6-12

Not only does it not bother me that I didn’t find a path to health for so long, I am grateful for it.

There’s a lot I would never have learned, had my life been immediately made as anxiety-free as it now is. I wouldn’t have been as useful to the work He had for me to do, then or now, had I not gone through a crucible suited to my particular metal. I am undoubtedly a more relaxed person with carnivore, but I am not more joyful. I am not a better person because I eat meat.

I just wanted to take a minute from my meat-boosting to praise the One who really saves. I get uncomfortable if I go too long between reminders that it’s all Jesus.

Submit to the One who created you. Give thanks to Him and bless His name.

Have Thine own way, Lord,
Have Thine own way;
Thou art the Potter,
I am the clay.
Mould me and make me
After Thy will,
While I am waiting,
Yielded and still.