Just Mommy

This is a repost from June 3, 2010. I can’t believe it has been eleven years since I wrote this! I’d write some things differently, and far more strongly now.

Just Mommy

I loved my second grade teacher. She had long, (bottle) blonde hair, and a sweet smile. Not only was she beautiful to me, but she had a clothesline strung across the classroom with stuffed animals and Hot Wheels clipped to it for bribing her students to work. A certain number of books read equaled a beautiful stuffed animal or doll in my pudgy little hands. Come to think of it, I loved my 5th grade teacher from the bottom of my heart, too, and she was also pretty handy with the prizes. We may be onto something here..

Anyway, I digress. Where were we? Oh, yeah. My teacher broke my heart.
She didn’t do anything mean, really. She just asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. She had us write about it, actually. My paper went something like this:

When I grow up, I want to be a mommy. I think I’d be good at it. I’d like lots of children.

Maybe there was more to it than that. I don’t remember. I turned in my paper, with the requisite poorly-drawn picture to illustrate. Instead of marking it with the usual red check-mark and smiley face, Miss Dixon called me to her desk.

“What else?”

I didn’t know what she meant, so I just looked at her with that slack-jawed, confused look that I still get when I’m dumbfounded. (That’s about twice a day, if you wondered.) She tried again. “What else do you want to be when you grow up? Mommy isn’t enough.”

I took my paper back to my seat and pondered for a moment. I was a sensitive child, and my feelings were more than a little hurt. What did she mean, what else? Mommy is BIG. Mommy is the whole world! It really was all I cared to be.

Being a second-grader, and not at all indoctrinated in philosophies of homemaking and childrearing, I didn’t argue. I struggled to come up with something else to write. Tears in my eyes (yeah, I was a wuss), I finally settled on saying I’d like to become a nurse.

Nurses are like mommies, but with thermometers, right?

I never really wanted to be a nurse, of course, but it was the answer I gave when asked this all-important question for the rest of my school years. Sometimes, just to shake things up, I said I’d like to be a doctor. I really did have an interest in medicine, and a good head for science, so it could have happened if I’d had any encouragement at all. I used to be a little bit bitter about the fact that no one cared what I “did with my life” or tried to encourage me in my studies. Now I wonder if God didn’t put blinders on the people around me to keep them from seeing my potential to do “more”.

My teacher thought she was doing the right thing in encouraging me to think outside the stuffy old traditional box, I’m sure. For all I know, she may have thought I needed her to help me shake off the tyranny of the patriarchy. But I didn’t appreciate being told I should do more than be wife and mother. What I felt, in that wordless way kids have of understanding things, was that there was something unjust about a world that didn’t think “mommy” was enough.

I grew, but that ambition my teacher was trying to instill in me didn’t. Thanks to her “guidance”, I grew up knowing I had to do something else with my life. Like everyone else, I learned to think of “mother” as something you become after you’ve proven that you can do grown-up stuff.

After high school I got a job. Then another. Then another. All my jobs involved changing adult diapers and administering meds in rest homes and group homes. I even started nursing school, but quit in despair. I hated it. Nursing is a calling, and I was decidedly not called. The book-work was easy enough, but the job itself made me want to scream. The one thing I knew for certain was that you should never, ever scream at sick people, so I packed it up and went home.

They say God draws straight with crooked lines. Through a series of bad choices I ended up jobless and without any desire to find a new job, or even to live at all. If it hadn’t been for all the dumb mistakes I made in high school and beyond, I’d probably have a “fulfilling” career by now. Instead, thanks to His mercy, I’m rejoicing in my growing family, filling the role of help-meet to a faithful and hard-working man, and looking forward to a life of (cover your eyes, feminists) submission to God’s will–and my husband’s.

The only problem is, I wasn’t trained to this! I had no idea what I was getting into when I decided to roll up my sleeves and get down to the business of homemaking. No one told me there was this much work to do, or how many different plates I was going to have to spin at one time. There wasn’t anyone to tell me all this, because I didn’t actually know any homemakers. This is the job that I was told wasn’t enough to keep a woman’s mind active and her spirit content?

Seriously?

I’ve learned the hard way how to run my household and raise my children, and I’m going to pass along to my own daughter what I’ve learned. When some young man comes along to take her away from me, I’m going to make sure she doesn’t spend the first years of marriage twiddling her thumbs and wondering exactly what she’s supposed to be doing with all this “free” time–or worse, ignoring the most beautiful vocation on Earth because someone once told her “Mommy’s not enough.”

Friday Link-About

Happy Friday! Here are few links of interest for the week:

I’m on Gab now. Follow me @getalonghome, if you can get the page to load. I’m sure they’ll have everything running smoothly soon. Still on MeWe, too, and picking up speed there. I do kinda like it.

Researchers identify a new personality construct that describes the tendency to see oneself as a victim. 

An initial three studies established the TIV as a consistent and stable trait that involves four dimensions: moral elitism, a lack of empathy, the need for recognition, and rumination. A follow-up study further found that this tendency for victimhood is linked to anxious attachment  — an attachment style characterized by feeling insecure in one’s relationships — suggesting that the personality trait may be rooted in early relationships with caregivers.

 

Hmmm. Maybe “just mommies” are worth a little something to society after all.

Watch a skilled prosecutor lay out a convincing case. It wasn’t patriots making all the trouble on January 6th. But you knew that.

They’ve got John Sullivan, the Antifa who had a leading role in the storming of the Capitol Building. Also, a couple of Democrats who clearly are not MAGA. Makes me think we could start to see some justice done in this country soon.

I’m using this shiny new app, Foxhole, to watch and listen to a lot of my favorite news-and-views-type people.  I recommend listening to RedPill78, M3thods, and SomeBitchIKnow every chance you get.

A reminder to all who despair: This man is still our President, duly elected, impeached twice, defeated never.

And this man will never be that, no matter what happens next:

Not even a photoshop. Actual deranged face with matching soul.

 

Trump is set to declassify everything Obamagate. If you think he was holding off until now out of stupidity, or carelessness, you haven’t gotten to know this man at all. He was holding off because now is the right time to do it. There will be more booms to follow.  Just as the prophets foretold, it will be biblical.

Strange things are happening in D.C. No inauguration rehearsal. Razortape wire going up on fences around the Capitol, nobody is allowed on the National Mall at all? Interesting, no? I got all those factoids from Anonymous Conservative, who you could follow, and then I could blog about Mom stuff like I’m supposed to. It’s not like I know anything. Just passing it all along.

I’m riding this coaster all the way to the end. Meme shamelessly stolen from thedonald.win:

 

Friday Link-About

I’ve started a group on MeWe, which is a privacy-oriented social media site similar to Facebook in its layout. There’s a free version, and a paid one. I’m still doing free for now. Join the blog group there, if you like.  I’d love to see you there!

Did you know that getting a flu shot, any flu shot, can make you more susceptible to other strains in the future? It’s one of the many reasons I refuse flu shots. Turns out the Cough vaccine could be the same way. Since it’s not even a proper vaccine, it can’t possibly be for the same reasons that happens with the flu shot, though.

I’ve already linked to this, but I don’t want you to miss it. Enemy plants try to break into the Capitol building, Trump supporters try to stop them. Because we have good people, almost every one of us. Our people didn’t even break past the barricades. Trump told them to peacefully protest, and peaceful they were. The police had to remove the barricades and urge them to the building! Now, why do you think they would do that?

I agree with Vox here. Something is not right with the video from last night. He has further input from someone who claims to be a professional cinematographer.

The Babylon Bee gets eerily close to what some of us are actually expecting. Trump Circumvents Twitter Ban with Emergency Alert System. 

I’m currently reading Sacred Cow: The Case for Better Meat, by Robb Wolf and Diana Rodgers. I haven’t watched the film yet, but I’m very firmly in their camp. Meat is what humans should eat. Our world is built to support grazing animals, and can’t survive without them. We do need to be smarter about how we graze them. It is row crops and fertilizers that are really wreaking havoc on our land, not cows.

Drop any links you’re interested in sharing (and please don’t think you have to stick to politics or any of my other interests. What interests you?) in the comments.

 

 

2021 Incoming!

Sometimes I’ll have an idea for a blog post and write a short prompt, then save it as a draft for later when I have more time, or better clarity on the subject. I did that yesterday, but instead of hitting “save draft”, I hit “publish”, so you all got a half-baked post in your inbox. Sorry about that. Well, not really sorry. It’s an interesting topic. Y’all probably do know who runs this world, right? But a lot don’t, so I may have some more words on that eventually.

Anyhow, I’d like to wish all of you a very happy 2021. I’d do a look back on 2020, but it would only cause trauma for a number of us. The political turmoil has been, for me, a pretty big drag on my attention, and for many it has been materially damaging because of the disruption to the economy. So many of my family and friends lost loved ones or had health problems crop up. There’s a particular dear friend of mine who is constantly on my heart who is going through the worst nightmare a mother could ever imagine with her child–probably worse even than losing them to death. 2020 has earned its reputation.

But our family is sitting here basically unscathed. I’ve got a severe case of survivor’s guilt over here. Arrows are whizzing over my head and on every side of me, hitting people I know and love daily, and I don’t even have a scratch on me. In fact, I had a pretty great year. One thing I know about surviving, though, is that nobody gets out of this place alive, or lives without loss, so our day is surely coming.

Praise God, anyway, as I’ve often heard my father say!

What will 2021 hold? I am not a prophet, nor the daughter of a prophet (although Dad is a pretty compelling preacher), but I have some ideas of where I think–or hope–things are going. Wishful thinking is a thing around here, so feel free to darken my more optimistic predictions with your own brand of pessimism, if you feel so inclined. In fact, you can just look at these predictions as more of a wish-list.

My pessimist friends, we’ll all go through the same year, but some of us are going to do it with a much lower cortisol level.

  1. A Dark Winter? I do think this winter is going to be the very peak of Deep State treachery in an effort to wrest the White House from the only honestly-elected president I’ve seen in my adult life. They want their Great Reset, and they have no time to wait him out, so they will double down in every conceivable way. There will be further virus scares made up from whole cloth, lockdowns, riots and terrorism paid for Soros and his ilk, media defamation and dehumanization of Core America, especially Christians. The enemies of God have promised us a Dark Winter, but Satan doesn’t actually get to decide the outcome. Truth will always assert itself, and the lies will fail.
  2. People will rise up. Store owners are going to open up and defy governors to shut them down. A few already have, and many more will follow. They have to, if they want to survive. More people are going to unmask because they finally understand that they’re being lied to about how viruses spread. This will require individual courage, thoughtfulness, and willingness to be seen changing one’s mind and heart in public–something I’ve become accustomed to as a blogger, but that most people have literally never experienced. But I’m proof that it can be done. The more likely thing is that the masks and lockdowns will simply end because the political climate will no longer require them.
  3. A brighter spring and summer? We will see normalcy begin to return on the viral front. The biological weapon was actually a dud, taking out largely the population that was going to die of the flu regardless, but the psy-op was strong. I don’t know if people will ever be convinced of the truth about covid-19, which is that it wasn’t much of a thing, and a good many of the people who “caught” it never would have known it was anything but a common cold if the media hadn’t programmed them to look for it. I do know some folks who were laid pretty low by it, but it was the same population you’d expect to have a very hard time with any virus.
  4. Donald Trump will retain the presidency. This one I would put money on, if I had any. I don’t know if it will be via the electoral college path or some other, less peaceful, way. It does look like Georgia is going to be flipped back to its rightful winner, and Arizona and Pennsylvania look very promising in the next day or two. Regardless of the means, I don’t see any way Donald J. Trump lets the Deep State steal our nation. I think he’s prepared to face any decision necessary to free us from them.
  5. Revival is coming. I have seen so many people come to Christ or return to their first, fervent love for Him in the past year that I am confident that we’ll see more of the same. Whether driven to it by hard times, or convinced by current events to flee the coming wrath, new converts are being made daily.
  6. The media is going to lose its grip on the national mind. No need to elaborate on this, as there is nobody who doesn’t already see it happening. They are actors, not journalists!
  7. Y’all, my readers, are going to get healthier. You’re going to do this because I’m going to show you how, and I’m going to make it easy enough that you will want to make changes. You do know you’re in control of a great deal of the pain and suffering in your life, don’t you? Modern medicine would like you to believe that you’re just broken if you have a chronic illness, and that they have an expensive magic pill for that, but the truth is that it’s your environment, and especially your food, that is harming you. Your body is not the culprit at all. It’s just doing what it has to, given its circumstances. If you’re not dead yet, you can improve things drastically. If you’re already the picture of health, stick around. You can either help me encourage others, or argue with my recommendations and sharpen my iron. Either way, we all win.

And resolutions? Just one:

  1. I’m going to see my extended family more often. It is really pathetic how I’ve let most of my adult life go by without even contacting my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I’ve reconnected with a number of them recently and realized just how important,and how comfortable, family is. I’ll put a lot of extra miles on my big white van dragging the kids all over the country-side to get to know the people from which we come. Should be fun, especially with our new driver taking the wheel more often.

What do you think of this new year? Hopeful and exciting, or the same drag we had last year, only more so? 

 

 

 

 

Friday Link-about

Just a few things to think about over the weekend. I’m going to start keeping a better list. I know there was more that I wanted to post than this:

I was so tickled to see that my friend Dawn has a podcast now. She is truly a font of wisdom. She hasn’t had time to post new ones lately, so there’s time to catch up on everything I’ve missed! Find her at One Faithful Mom.

Watch, as Nancy Pelosi explains that a Chinese spy sleeping with a congressman is no concern to her at all, and certainly we shouldn’t be looking into the backgrounds of people who work for elected representatives. The infiltration of American patriots into Trump’s government, though, is horrifying. “They’ve got Q!”

China says private ownership of guns in the U.S. is a serious problem. Well, yes. If you want to invade a nation, it helps if there isn’t a rifle behind every blade of grass.

The L. A. Times says masks don’t work, so the mask-wearing needs to intensify. It is imperative that we remain terrified of each other at all times.

Do you read The Donald? Lots of fun over there.

I’ve been sleeping and exercising with my mouth taped shut. How my family must wish I’d commit to a 24-hour regimen! Breath, by James Nestor is another life-changer of a book.

Finally, a request. I don’t have any public-facing social media at the moment, and may not ever start back down that road, but if anybody wanted to share this blog with friends and family, I wouldn’t complain at all. Unless you shared it with people you know wouldn’t like it, which would make them and me a little bit cranky.

Leave links to anything you find interesting in the comments. You can leave your own stuff, too!

Basic Keto Layer Cake

If you’re trying to avoid carbs for the holidays, and need some cheats to get past the dessert trap, here’s a nice way to fool your brain into thinking it’s getting sugar. This Basic Keto Layer Cake recipe has zero blood sugar impact for me. It has never knocked me out of ketosis (NTTAWWT). Everybody is a little bit different with sweeteners, so I recommend using one you know is good for you. The erythritol/stevia blends are the best options I’ve found.

Like most of the things we eat around here, this cake is very specific to our family’s allergy needs. This recipe is made without nuts, grains, or dairy.

chocolate frosted chocolate layer cake

You get no professional-looking photos on this blog. 😉

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The Crow Caws

My last post was on January 4, 2016, so it has been nearly five years since I put fingertips to keyboard and spilled my thoughts all over the place. Here goes nothin’!

First of all, I want to thank those of you who are already here!  I got a little choked up when comments came in so quickly from readers I recognize. That was completely unexpected. I thought I’d be all alone in here. Welcome back! I hope you can still find something useful, interesting, or uplifting here. 

I read once that Tolstoy called his most marvelous work “wordy trash”. I know exactly how he felt after reading over my old posts to see which ones I want to rescue from the ash-heap. You think you’re doing something so very special at the time you write it, but when the fire isn’t in your belly for that particular work anymore, it is, indeed, wordy trash, no matter how much of a genius* you are. It just doesn’t sparkle anymore. 

Blogging is really an ephemeral thing, anyway. You say it, and it’s said, and it’s really not resayable. I do have a few perennials that I may republish, but probably not too many. After five years, my aptitudes and interests have moved on, and no doubt yours have, too, Dear Reader. So if you find we’re not a good fit anymore after a while, that will be perfectly understandable. I am immensely gratified, though, to see your comments rolling in already. I missed you people! 

Secondly, a word about what to expect from this blog:

Jesus, and how He saves. I will always strive to honor and remember Christ in what I say. Some posts will be overtly religious in nature, but I hope that I will always sprinkle a little salt on the many that are not. I’m likely to be about as graceful and tactful as ever, which is to say not very much, but I promise I will try. Readers have always been very kind to point it out when I fail at that, so I’m sure I’ll never have to wonder how I’m doing in that regard. 

Health and beauty. I’ve lost about fifty pounds, first on a ketogenic, and now a zero-carb diet. I love weight training, high intensity exercise, and running, which is definitely not something I ever expected to say about myself. I feel better than I’ve felt since my early twenties, so I will be talking about that. There may be some one-on-one coaching available in the future, if anyone is interested. I feel pretty confident that what I’ve done can work for absolutely anybody, with some tweaks for individual differences. 

Large family stuff. This topic is pretty well unavoidable, ain’t it? There are eight children in this family now. I thought I was getting the hang of this mothering thing a few years ago. I’m much less certain of that now, but I do have a few more years of experience upon which to draw. 

Homeschooling. Obviously. 

Current events, politics. Probably. Certainly I have some thoughts. I don’t really like the kinds of trolls that show up for that, but they’ll probably turn up no matter what I write about. We’ll see. 

So, that’s where I am today. What’s changed for you in the last several years? I’m so ready to hear from you!

*Please note that I am saying Tolstoy was a genius. I actually am cranking out wordy trash, and I’m fully aware of it. But I have no doubt the crow enjoys his caw every bit as much as the songbird does her warbles. We all do what we can with whatever meager gifts we’re given, right?